Julie Goucher ~ Anglers Rest

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I talked about recently the Secret Santa that is undertaken at my book group. Essentially we select a name from a hat, the gift should be to the value of £15 and must include a book. Once wrapped the gift only bears the recipient’s name on and not the name of the giver.

We meet for lunch, have some mulled wine and a lovely afternoon. We each open our gift then spend time chatting about them and trying to work out who gave each other gifts. It is fun, and a good way to spend a lovely afternoon. Over the last few years I have given books by Neville Shute and JK Rowlings. I usually include a sweet treat and something for a nice bath. This year the recipient also received a small candle.

Lunch was delicious as was the mulled wine!

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Today marks what would have been my beloved Grandmother’s 115th birthday.

Regular readers of this blog will have read various posts about my Grandparents and the families they descended from. I am very proud of them and the achievements they accomplished. I have been suddenly aware that apart from being my Grandmother, she was also a wife, a mother, a friend, sister and much, much more. In writing this post, I remember her, upon her birthday. The reality is, that I think of her every day and miss her the same. She was a huge influence in my life and her passing left quite a void

In the Spring after we moved here, I purchased a beautiful peach coloured rose. My husband planted it in her memory and every time I look out of the breakfast room window I ponder on what she would think of my zero gardening ability. The rose is lovely, and despite some fairly harsh Winters in recent years, it continues to flourish, with much assistance from my beloved. Usually on her birthday I purchase a bunch of vibrant coloured flowers, as that is how I recall her, bright, happy and always joking, and place the vase in a location where I can enjoy the flowers. This year, as I have every year since 2011, I have opted for something very different.

Back in 2011, a fellow genealogist alerted me to a project called Genealogists for Families Project. The motto is “We care about families, Past, Present & Future” I joined the Genealogists team and logged in. I had a good read of the project and had a look at all the individuals listed who would benefit from a loan through the Kiva Organisation. I discussed it with my husband and shared my plans with him and pondered on how I could utilise the scheme with a genealogical link.

The basic principle is that you loan $25 through the scheme to individuals who do not have access to traditional banks. When the loan is repaid you can either withdrawal your money or loan again. You can make many loans or just one or two. The choice is up to you. I should point out, that you don’t need to be a genealogist to join the genealogist team, who have made loans of a staggering $9,400 at the time of writing this post.

So, in memory of an outstanding lady, who gave me so much I have made another loan.

Christmas is the time for giving and I want to commemorate the lady who was my Grandmother. Acknowledge her achievements and values and to assist others in her memory.

The photograph here is of my Grandmother, Lilian Edith Butcher nee Matthews (1912 – 1995) on the occasion of her 21st Birthday.

If you would like to join the team, then please click HERE

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I rather like Secret Santa exchanges. I also like the bit of sounding out a suitable gift and then purchasing. That is all rather fun.

A book group that I belong to does that. All names go into a hat and then each person selects a name. If they pick their own name they have another go. We set the amount to be spent at £15 and have six weeks to get organised and then take the gifts to the get together, where we put them on a table only with the recipients name on. We do not know who has bought for one another. The biggest challenge is placing the gift on the table without being seen!

The only other stipulation is the gift must contain a book. In recent years I have purchased books by Nevile Shute, E M Forester and from the Harry Potter series by J K Rowling. I try and include a sweet treat and something like a bath bomb from Lush or the body shop.

Do you like participating in a Secret Santa?

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I always get much more joy from purchasing gifts than receiving them; perhaps that makes me a bar humbug!

This year I knew what I wanted “Santa” to bring me and without too much prompting or reminding, Santa’s helper purchased and gift and let me have it a little early so I could send the item off to be processed. I was then instructed to give the box back so it could be wrapped! More on that a little later, after Christmas. I do happen to note that there are two other gifts from Santa’s helper under the tree so I do have a surprise or two!

Meanwhile, the purchasing of gifts has been the least stressful this year because I have done the entire lot online. In fact, for the first time ever, all my gifts have been purchased, they are here and wrapped. Those that were heading to others have been wrapped and dispatched.

The one thing about gifts that I dislike is the wrapping of them. I can turn a really simply sized box or packet to be wrapped into a wrapping disaster very easily. As I cursed a box from Amazon I thought I should have paid to have it gift wrapped….noted for next year!

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I cannot remember having a stocking as a child and I never thought to ask Mum. What I do recall seeing early one Christmas morning was Mum putting a pillow case of my presents at the bottom of the bed. I closed my eyes and went back to sleep and never let on that I saw Mum until I was into adulthood!

In recent years I have done stockings for us, but for the last two or three years I haven’t. It was always a problem with time, deciding what to put in the stocking, but now I have lost the interest. Perhaps it will come back one day…..

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We live in a fast, modern and immediate world which is totally removed from the years of my childhood. What was a treat back then is very much a potentially common occurrence now which rather defeats the object to being a treat!

As I might have mentioned earlier in the advent calendar when I was a child Mum used to buy chocolate tree ornaments which I wasn’t allowed to consume until Christmas Eve and even then, just one or perhaps two. Now with my own home I could have a tree littered with Christmas chocolate ornaments but don’t. I no longer find that a treat.

Overtime, our treats change, defined by us and our families. How have your treats changed over the years?

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As a genealogist I recognise the traditions we have are a way of honouring the past and those that went before us. As each generation produces hopefully another generation new traditions are formed and hopefully will continue into the future.

Waves of migration have enabled tradition to leap from one Country to the next and provided potential for tweaks and turns in those traditions.

In Italy the Christmas season lasts for three weeks from around 17th December with children waiting Epiphany, on 6 January to open their presents; the presents having been delivered by Befana, a kind ugly witch who rides a broomstick. The meal for Christmas Eve, La Vigilia, doesn’t have any meat and contains fish and vegetables which is the same for evening prior to other religious festivals in Italy. Christmas Day is specifically left for feasting and connecting with family.

I grew up in England follow the usual Christmas pattern of living in England, but those Christmas traditions are a far cry from those of my paternal heritage.

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I have always thought there is something rather nice about the buzz of Christmas shopping, but in recent years the enjoyment has been lost to me and I have been very disorganised in organising gifts etc.

I have tended to do a mixture of store and online shopping, but this year I have done the lot online. It has reduce the stress factor by 100%. Whilst the whole concept of online shopping has effected town centres, so has the increasing use of out-of-town shopping centres.

This year I have used Amazon and yes, I do have concerns about how they treat their staff, but the best advice I can give to any Amazon employee is get into a union and have them fight your corner! I have also used Etsy. Etsy is an online shopping facility where individuals can sell items. The criteria are essentially handmade, items than can be used for making something or vintage. Vintage is classed as over 20 years.

With my husband working shifts this has made the whole present smuggling activity rather easy as I purchase and schedule deliveries if I can when he is not home!

The whole Christmas grocery experience has always been stressful to me – I cannot stand the every man (or woman) for themselves tactic, leaving trolley’s in the middle of counters and grumpy/rude people – manners cost nothing!

Having the packages arrive has meant that I have needed to hide them. I typically use my office and as I have a poor filing system the filing cabinet has been as good as any! Then they need to be wrapped. I am dreadful at wrapping presents and can turn a fairly easy to wrap gift into a wrapping disaster. I wrapped presents earlier today and it is a dreadful task, I am glad that is all over!

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I know I visited Santa as a child because Mum told me. I didn’t think to ask where I saw Santa or how much it cost, because I thought I had plenty of time to ask her.

Mum told me that I was fairly unimpressed and sat there waiting to go back to Mum. It is interesting that is pretty much how I have always felt about Christmas & since Mum’s passing I feel even less enthused. As I said being married to a Christmas baby makes that tricky, but at least of us is excited!

I get my enjoyment from make a list of what I think I will buy for my significant other and managing to keep it a secret! He has been known to get down by the tree and shake all the presents!

Hubby on the other hand was never taken to see Santa and for that I feel quite sad, especially since he would have really enjoyed that.