On the back of the A-Z April Challenge, the lovely folk at Gould Genealogy devised another challenge – Family History Through the Alphabet Challenge. Each week, we work through the letters of the alphabet sharing perhaps an elusive ancestor, a favourite or particular ancestor, or perhaps a heirloom.

Fis for Families

I am sure that you are familiar with the saying “You can choose your friends, but not your family”.  

Just this week my husband was reflecting and remembering on things from his early childhood. After a few minutes he asked  me to “Google it and see what comes up”. Well, what came up from the Google search was to be honest horrifying. I do not mean research that other’s had done and shared via the internet. This was information from official sources and as we read and re-read we sat in horrified silence.

The information was read several times and later as we got into bed and I picked up a book hopeful of a few pages reading before the eyes began to close, my husband started to talk again about what we had read. I pointed out several things. Firstly, we are not responsible for the doings of our family members, whether they are alive or dead and like it or not, we can not turn the clock back. We simply have to find a way of dealing with the knowledge that we now have.

In the morning as we had a first drink of the day, my husband turned to me and commented that he was simply ashamed of the situation. I reiterated the comments I had made of the night before. Since then there has been no further mention, but I know, the way you do when you have lived with someone for 20 years that the wheels and thoughts are continuing. Just as my research into the information is.

Absolutely, we can not choose our family. We are part of an established group, which yields parents, grandparents, siblings, cousins, aunts and uncles. Some of those people we share not just a blood bond with but also an emotional attachment to. Others are simply a blood connection whilst others we have no blood connection, but have an emotional connection with, perhaps in the case of honorary relations – Aunts, Uncles etc.

Quite recently I attended a family funeral. In the last 2 years we have had four bereavements, three on my side of the family and one on my husband’s side. Of the three bereavements on my side, I was able to attend two of the funerals. Inhibited in attending the third by miles and many of them! The emotional attachment that I felt to those individuals was huge and each one in their own way leaves quite a gap. So I stood as we all paid our last respects at the most recent funeral. I was proud to do so.

The contribution that each of us makes to our own family establishment is unique. Feeling proud of our families is something that I hope we all feel in some way. I was very proud as I realised that the congregation at that recent funeral was more than 200 people, many were standing at the back, squeezing in where they could. Simply to pay their respects to another individual who had been a father, brother, grandfather, cousin, uncle, friend and colleague.

Sobering thoughts and comments for what I had planned to be a different piece of writing for this week’s contribution.

On the back of the A-Z April Challenge, the lovely folk at Gould Genealogy devised another challenge – Family History Through the Alphabet Challenge. Each week, we work through the letters of the alphabet sharing perhaps an elusive ancestor, a favourite or particular ancestor, or perhaps a heirloom.

C is for Conversations

As I mentioned in my last post, I would regularly visit my elderly Aunts, usually fortnightly. I had grown up doing that and once I was into adulthood I carried on the tradition. A recent conversation with a Cousin of my generation revealed that he had never met two of our Great Aunts, because he had never visited them as a child and subsequently did not visit as an adult.

The conversations that I had with not just my Aunts but also their first cousins placed me at a genealogical advantage. Simply through letting them chat, aided by an occasional prompt or question from me they were more than happy to chat and fill me in on various information.

I showed them photographs that I had inherited and asked for clarity on who the photograph was of and often I was not just told the name, but a whole caption of history, perhaps about where they worked, lived, married  and so forth. Little snippets of information that when added together provided a much bigger picture.

On a particular day I mentioned to one Aunt that I was visiting her sister the following weekend and that I was meeting Aunt’s first Cousin during the week. Aunt suddenly said that  she would come over and see me at her sister’s the following Saturday. I wondered if I could perhaps get the Cousin to come along as well. A phone call later and all was agreed.

As I said, my Aunt was in a wheelchair and did receive lots of visitors, but her face was a real pleasure as it lit up at the sound of her younger sister’s voice. Then she heard her cousin and was overwhelmed. I was as usual given the instruction for tea and cake duty. Upon entering the lounge the three of them were chatting and remembering and in hindsight I so wish I had recorded the three of them chatting.

Listening to them was amazing and I was slightly amused when the older of the sisters announced that they were completely wrong over something. My Aunt Doll, the youngest of the sisters was called Dolly by her older sister and the cousin Ivy then referred to the older sister as Rosey. The familiarity that they felt for each other was incredible and it was a treasure to witness it.

All three of them have passed away now, the most recent, my Aunt, who was the younger sister in 2009, but the legacy that they each left is something that I will treasure always.

On the back of the A-Z April Challenge, the lovely folk at Gould Genealogy devised another challenge – Family History Through the Alphabet Challenge. Each week, we work through the letters of the alphabet sharing perhaps an elusive ancestor, a favourite or particular ancestor, or perhaps a heirloom.

B is for Budd

As I trawled through the Parish Records seeking and building the family tree from my Great Grandmother and beyond I came across the connection to the surname of BUDD. I had quickly established that my Great Great Grandmother Caroline Ellis was the daughter of George Ellis and his wife Prudence Budd.

This was quite early on in my research, so around the late 1980s. I turned up to my Great Aunt’s for our fortnightly catch up. My Great Aunt was by this time in a wheelchair, with very limited sight, but still had the memory of an elephant and a razor sharp mind. As was our custom I was directed to make the tea, using the best cups and saucers and cut some cake. As I type this I can hear her in my mind, telling me to hurry up and had I bought my notebook?

Tray filled and carried into her lounge, I would poor the tea and make sure Aunt to hold her plate of cake, usually a Maderia. I would say that I had my note book and off she would go. Her mind cast back to a generation or two prior and I would see that I was to her no longer in the room, she was back to a young girl again and as she remembered past times I would furiously write the details down.

I recall, sitting the tray down and instead of staying I had my notebook I said I had located the marriage of Caroline’s parents. Before I had chance to say anything more, Aunt said, oh yes, Carrie’s mother was Prudence Budd you know. My big hype of information had vanished in a flash!

Prudence Budd had been born in Puttenham in 1817 to Richard Budd and Sarah Kemp. Prudence married in 1834 in Puttenham to George Ellis. Together they raised 8 children before Prudence died in 1855, 45 years before my Aunt was born.

It is only with looking back now, as I realise that my Great Aunt herself died nearly 20 years ago that I find myself realising that Aunt knew of her Great Grandmother through a living memory presumably shared through Caroline. The Budd’s were a well documented family. I can trace the family back to 1724 in the village of Puttenham before the trail turns cooler.

The Budd’s were potentially from neighbouring village of Shackleford and I have managed to trace a Henry Budd referenced in the parish. I can not say with 100% certainty that Henry came from Shackleford, but can say with probability that he did. More research is needed.

In my mind I can be in my Aunt’s lounge and asking her the question of do you know where the Budd’s came from?,  and I think that I an possibly hear her faint response…..